A snowflake in Toronto

It was a cold evening in November when I landed in Toronto Pearson Airport. I relocated my home base from Bangalore to join my partner here in Canada. The transition wasn't a smooth one. Great white north was different from the tropical sub continent in many ways.

Let’s talk about weather conditions, seasons are very defined in Toronto and it is cold for more than one half of the year. Temperatures can drop down to -30 degrees C in winters and climb back to positive 30's during summer. This part of Canada sits on the banks of one the five great lakes – Lake Ontario. It has been years now and I'm still amazed at the vastness of this lake. During winter, this humongous water body is completely frozen. Back home, weather forecast was a joke. It was beautiful moderate temperatures almost throughout the year.

Culture differed as well. Canadians are very friendly and welcoming people and so are Indians. But in my experience, Torontonians highly regard privacy and individualism. Everyone’s opinions matter and even children are encouraged to make their own decisions. Going to someone’s place without advance notice is considered rude and RSVPs are taken very seriously. On the contrary, back home, relatives and friends came home unannounced all the time. Even mere acquaintances could ask personal questions like “When are you getting married?”, “How can you wear black to an auspicious occasion?”, “When are we hearing the good news?” (hinting at procreation) and so on. This is seen societal concern instead of privacy invasion.

I had lived in India for 26 years of my life and had established a strong support system - my friends and family who were always there for me, a secure job that gave me financial freedom, platforms and avenues to pursue my hobbies. I basically had everything I needed, wanted and more. And, it all came to me almost effortlessly. It was very different here in Toronto. Respect for privacy was very new but I liked have the space and freedom for myself. Then, I started looking for job opportunities, but nothing seemed to click even after a couple months. Thanks to the internet, I tried to stay in touch with most of my friends, back in India. But the time difference made it harder and eventually my social circle shrunk to a handful. Everything took its own course and I had hustle to accomplish the smallest of tasks which used to be a cake walk before.

I felt alien in this new place, so I tried harder to blend in. I pretended to be one among them which made me unauthentic. I cribbed and wept every evening like a ritual. My confidence crumbled as I failed in most things I attempted.

One very cold afternoon, it had snowed for hours and the storm had white washed everything on its way. Watching snowfall brought joy to me. Mostly because it reminded me of my snow globe I had received as a gift on my 7th birthday. The sun pierced through the dark clouds and I saw snow flurries slowly land outside the window pane. Every snowflake looked different, unique and beautiful in its own way. That tiny observation struck a chord in my heart. It was a breakthrough moment, like I had an epiphany. I realized I was unique just like every snowflake. I was different from others and that is what made me special. My imperfections and flaws are my strength. The reason I was failing at everything I attempted was because I was trying to be someone else that I was not.

I dressed for negative temperatures with jacket, boots and gloves and headed out to the nearest park. Though I was covered fully some snowflakes managed to touch my cheeks which felt refreshing. My steps gained momentum, I almost danced in the snow.

Over the next few weeks, my positive outlook attracted new acquaintances. I made new friends and formed a network. I volunteered and pursued my hobbies. I worked at a restaurant till I found a job that escalated my career growth. All of this did not happen overnight, it took perseverance and constant reminder every single day that ‘ each snowflake is beautiful in its own unique way’.